A Year

A lot happens in a year. Things ended, other things started. Around this time, last year, I found myself in a bad spot.

So many things... I quite literally bottomed out. I found myself in a dark place. Scared. Alone. Hurt.

I felt as if... nothing was real. No promises could be kept. Nothing to really live for. The grand image of life I had as a child had really died. My biggest fears had all... come true.

I remember a night... God- it all sounds so melodramatic now- I remember a night I could have just... died. In a sense.. I did die.

I remember a point at which I surrendered. I prayed. No one else was listening. Yet somehow- God heard me. I knew I was useless- and He told me He loved me anyways. He loved me, especially then... offering nothing- only my tears, my misery. He took me then like my father did when I was sick, and carried me.

Sins are forgiven. Healing can happen. Sometimes it takes time. Some hurts might feel like they may never go away. But God loves me.

He loves you too; the little child, lost in a big and scary world.

So many things, this last year. So many things to look forward to. God bless you, really. May you find what I found, in God. In Jesus. Happy belated New Year.